I have not sat down, written, and published a post in over a year and some change. There was a point in 2022 where I was trying to write but that post is still in my draft folder. I wanted to make time for my hobbies, but it just didn’t happen. Perhaps it was the stress of work that keep me focused on my team and numbers. On my time away from the store all I wanted to do was nothing and be responsible for no one.
As I look back, I wasn’t in the healthiest state of mind. Life can get that way sometimes. I put my focus on one compartment of my life (work) and left the rest to on the back burner. Don’t get me wrong, I actually found a lot of joy in work. The challenges I faced as store manager this past year and half have made me a better person and leader. I am and will always be grateful for my time spent at Vans on Higuera Steet. To my team, if you ever read this know I am extremely proud you and proud of what we created together.
Back to my point, I left the rest of my life unattended. I felt as though I needed to rest. I probably should have made a better effort then to divide my time and energy. Unfortunately, I drove myself into what felt like depression. Suddenly even the joy and energy I once had for work was diminishing. I was depleting myself; this was new feeling I had not felt before. The feeling was scary, frustrating, and empty.
Often Alex would meet me up for lunch where we would talk nonsense and catch each other up on our days. During my slump of unwanted feelings, I expressed to him how I felt less engaged in almost everything my life. I was scared and didn’t know how to get myself out of this. I cried, I felt dishearten to hear my own truth. My confession also brought forth the feeling of relief, the solace of being able to express myself to the most important person in my life. I still carried the unwanted feelings, but I felt less lonely.
Alex and I make the effort to talk about everything silly or serious, but this was uncharted territory for both of us. What could be both be doing differently? What could I do? What could he do? How do we get through this together?
Alex and I have been intrigued by tiny living for some time. Back in 2020 we participated in decluttering our apartment to live a more minimalist lifestyle. Less stuff in the home meant less to pick up, less stuff to pick up led to a tidier space. And who doesn’t like to relax in a clean home? A minimalist lifestyle also promoted mindful choices. What we brought into our home was either a necessity or something that sparked happiness and joy. Thus, the idea of living in a small, converted van did not sound crazy to us. It seemed rather appealing.
If we downsized our way of living, we be able would minimize our expenses. This would create an opportunity for me to take time off and refocus on myself. Refocus on what means the most in life. The conversation of “wouldn’t it be nice” became real talks of: what rig would best suit both of our lifestyles? What floor layout would make living comfortable? What would our new finances look like? etc. Thats pretty much what happened. We pulled the trigger and bought our 2018 Pro Master. This past summer Alex built our new home on wheels, a labor of love that inspires freedom, happiness, and comfort.
I am grateful to have less at this moment. I am grateful to experience a new nomadic lifestyle. Lastly, I am grateful for my loving partner who I get to share and grow alongside as we embark this adventure.
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